My Life With Pain

Posted by iKan2


I have lived a tough life
Full of indescribable pain
And immense suffering
Some physical
Some emotional
Some I only brought on myself

Even still
I’ve been to the highest mountaintops
I’ve touched the bottom of the sea
I’ve shared my love as generously
as I’ve humanly been possible
Some times it was enough
other times it fell horribly short
I’ve destroyed hearts
I’ve resurrected them from certain death

I’m a sinner
I’m a saint
I’m a fallen angel
trapped forever
in this decaying soul

I’ve seen pain
Essence crushing pain
where all you want
is for it to stop
Just to catch your breath
if only for a moment
I’ll see more pain
I’m sure of it
May God grant me peace

I chose to endure the pain
but I will not suffer
I chose to live every moment
waiting for the pain to subside
Then celebrating when it has passed
Raising a toast to the sky
I praise the Lord
For blessing me
With one more try

One more day to proclaim God’s love
Let us marvel in His creation
singing praise for another chance
to revel in the Infinite

Side Effect IV

Posted by iKan2

Introduction

Remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because he or she has judged that the benefit to you is greater than the risk.

Zolpidem Tartrate

People have gotten out of bed and driven vehicles, while not fully awake. People have also sleepwalked, prepared/eaten food, made phone calls, or had sex while not fully awake.

I might be doing any of those things, but, if I am, I don't remember it.  LOL :-) I might be doing any, or all, of these things too:

Memory Loss
Nasuea
Stomach Cramps
Mood Changes
Halluciantions
Confusion
Agitation
Anxiety

-ing

Vomiting
Flushing
Itching
Swelling
Trouble Breathing

Sleep-Walking
Sleep-Eating
Sleep-Calling
Sleep-Driving
Sleep-Fucking

-ness

Nervousness
Shakiness
Dizziness
Daytime Drowsiness

Disclaimer: Many people use this medication do not have serious side effects.

Side Effects III

Posted by iKan2

Introduction

Remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because he or she has judged that the benefit to you is greater than the risk.


by Viewmaker
Mirtazapine

Suicidal Speech
Rapid  Hallucinations
Persistent Panic
Impulsive Appetite

Weight  Tremor
Hostile Sleeping
Mouth Gain
Worsening Trouble

Dry Confusion
Hostile Dizziness
Diarrhea Feelings
Constipation Anxiety

Rash Depression
Severe Hands
Nausea Coordination
Tongue Attacks

Unusual Vomiting
Serotonin Restlessness
Trouble Throat
Loss of Lightheartedness

New Breathing
Irritability Attempts
Unexplained Twitching
Heartbeat Fever

Swelling Thoughts
Agitation Actions
Increased Behavior
Sore Drowsiness

Dizziness Muscles
Fast Feet
Swelling Syndrome
Aching Face

Disclaimer: Many people use this medication do not have serious side effects.

Side Effects II

Posted by iKan2

Introduction

Remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because he or she has judged that the benefit to you is greater than the risk.

by Javier Corbo
Lorazepam

Rash
Fever
Itching
Nausea
Swelling
Seizures
Diarrhea
Vomiting
Dizziness
Headache
Heartburn
Drowsiness
Muscle pain
Constipation
Stomach pain
Blurred vision
Fast heartbeat

Hallucinations
Vision changes
Slurred speech
Very high fever
Trouble walking
Difficulty talking
Loss of appetite
Severe dizziness
Trouble sleeping
Trouble breathing
Change in appetite
Unusual weakness
Memory problems
Persistent sore throat
Loss of coordination
Mental/mood changes
Short-term memory loss
Yellowing of eyes or skin
Change in sexual interest/ability
Numbness/tingling of arms and legs
Increased reaction to noise/touch/light
Mental/mood changes (such as hallucinations, depression, thoughts of suicide)

Disclaimer: Many people use this medication do not have serious side effects.

Side Effects

Posted by iKan2

by Tommaso Meli
Introduction

Remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because he or she has judged that the benefit to you is greater than the risk.

Adalimubub

Redness, itching, or swelling
 at the injection site
Easy bruising or bleeding

Stomach pain
Blood in the stools
Dark urine
Severe headache

Difficulty with speaking/chewing/swallowing/facial movements
Butterfly-shaped rash
 on the nose and cheeks
Numbness or tingling of the arms/hands/legs/feet

Night sweats
Persistent sore throat
Extreme fatigue
Muscle weakness


Vision changes
Itching
Joint pain
Swelling

Fever
Skin cancer
Rash
Lymphoma


Chills, Oral thrush

Persistent cough
Trouble breathing

Painful or frequent urination

Severe dizziness

Unusual vaginal discharge
Mental/mood changes
White patches in the mouth

Unsteadiness

Fast /irregular/pounding heartbeat
Leg pain or swelling

Yellowing eyes and skin

Disclaimer: Many people use this medication do not have serious side effects.

Suffering in Silience

Posted by iKan2

Subcutaneous Humira Injection
[Scene One - Flashback]

Last night I had to take my daily and weekly medications. It started with a small handful of pills. Then I had to self-inject Humira followed by self-administered Mesalamine enema.  I'll be switching back to the Mesalamine pills soon; after I have finished a 28 day regiment of enemas.  Yeah me!

I tried to back off of my weekly dosage of Humira and it nearly brought me to me knees.  After about a month, I noticed a distinct chance in my health.  I started to get stomach cramps, which were followed by heavy days of diarhea and bleeding. Something was definitely not right.  I remembered that I had a stockpile of Mesalamine enemas, and and promptly switched to nightly enemas. I also switched back to weekly Humira shots.  That seems to have done the trick, cause I'm feeling much better now. :-D

You don't look sick

[Scene Two - Recurring]

Being medically retired by Chron's disease has it's ups and downs.  When I'm feeling well, I make a point of participating in community activities.  Invariably, when I'm networking at an event, I'll met an old friend or someone asks me what I do.   My answer varies, but if I tell them that medically retired, a common response is "You don't look sick!"   Which probably seems true, but it is still far from accurate.

These are many situations (like a night of self-administered medications) that pass by in private. If they are effective, then no one knows about the sacrifices an IBD patient makes to sustain his energy, strength, and motivation.  Because my handicap is systemic, and not overly visible, like a missing limb, I can understand why people can conclude that I'm physically fit.  Of course, they don't see me when my hemorrhoids are throbbing with pain after 10 evacuations during a single day.  On those days, I usually don't stray far from my bed and a toilet.

It's a ironic twist of fate.  If I'm managing my medications and diet then I seem fine, if I'm not or if I'm having a flair-up, then I'm simply absent.  If I do happen to venture out when I'm experiencing a flair-up, then everyone is visibly unsettled by my contorted faces and lack of energy.  Unfortunately, it comes down to one of two situations.  When I feel bad, I usually suffer in silence.  When I feel better, than no one even knows I'm sick unless I bring it up.  More and more, I just avoid the subject.  Either way, IBD is an ailment that forces its' victims to suffer in silence.

A few things you might not realize about IBD.

Posted by iKan2

Another Remicade treatment this morning. What most people don't get about IBD: Every 6 weeks I get a treatment to LOWER my immunity; that means I have constant skin infections; I STILL have diarrhea most every day; and I almost always feel like I have to go to the bathroom.