Dealing with Crohn's

I sit here in a dark hospital room, watching over my brother as he sleeps. He's just underwent his second major abdominal surgery in a year. It started a year after his heart attack, when at the age of 53 the doctors said that they had discovered a mass in his colon. After a failed laparoscopy resection of his colon, they had to give him an emergency colostomy.

During a pre-surgery colonscopy to check the state of his colon, they found chronic uclerative colitis.I'm here with him now, because they went ahead with the planned surgery to remove the colostomy, however, from the beginning the surgeon was already acknowledging that there might be complications. Well the surgery did have complications, there were adhesions that have developed on his colon, and he had several ulcers in his small colon. For me, it was conclusive. He had Inflammatory Bowel Disease.

In the end of the surgery, they had to give him an ileostomy. There was just no risking connecting his large bowel, it had to heal first. Now they've said that since he's healthy, he can expect another surgery in 6 to 8 weeks to get the ileostomy removed.

It's odd to see my brother enter my world at such a late age. I guess it just goes to show that age isn't as limitation, it can manifest at any time. My heart goes out to him, really, After the heart attach, the heart surgeries, the colon surgeries, the failed resection, and now an ileostomy, he's had a tough last few years. Add to that, he must now begin treatment for IBD, So far, his will to live has been strong, but everyone has their breaking point, when enough is enough. Hopefully he'll still admire the daily miracles that happen all around us, and thus keep up the good fight...

Since I've been feeling so good this year, I learned unequivocally the direct correlation between the management (of the lack there) of my stress and emotions. This morning was a perfect example. After receiving some distressing news and requests, I let my imagination get the best of me and let my emotions spin out of control.

It culminated in a major discussion with my wife where she ripped open old scars, forcing me to shut down the conversation before it escalated any further, but the damage was done. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my system and my entire abdomen tightening up.

So this morning I work up with stomach cramps and gas, but before I even had the chance to drink my morning coffee, I started a purge. As expected, it required 8 or 10 trips to the bathroom; each becoming more difficult than the last.

By early afternoon I was regaining a little but of my humanity. It's weired, but once the purge begins, it's a small comfort to know that it's "only" temporary. In some ways, it;'s very Zen; without having to go through what I do, exploring the depths of my humanity, that I can truly claim that I'm reminded of the blessing each day is, and  that eventually peach, comfort, and tranquility await. Which is not to sat, that I wouldn't easily give away my "enlightenment" for a chance to by anything lik "notmal"/any if I didn't have to suffer any more.